reframing // cardamom coffee

this week, my girlfriend Maggie and I drove up the coast of California in a red car the size of a large suitcase. we saw the best friends, we saw stands of trees that felt like church, flowers that moved like waves in the grass, hills that felt slow and inevitable, a reflective ocean and the sun setting and setting and setting. it all felt full and loud and quiet and somehow female. mother earth, indeed. I also got poison oak, spent some time with a gigantic skunk at our campsite in pfieffer state park and became irrationally afraid of mountain lions. we couldn't get our water to boil. our google maps never really worked. the week was perfect.

we decided to take the trip largely because I accused Maggie of Never Wanting to Go On Trips and she booked our plane tickets in demonstrative defiance. it is liberating to just DO something, even if it is a little challenging logistically, even if it doesn't quite make perfect sense in that moment, because it proves that things don't have to be perfect to be perfect. which is something I struggle with. in pursuit of perfection, I'm often stuck in a maze of indecision, which I find frequently leads to an excess of waitressing.

standing in the giant outside, under stars that I could actually see, next to an ocean so large and unknowable, I felt like every ice-related complaint and career anxiety I entertain could (potentially) be released (forever?) through deep breath. (it's easier to have perspective when there are one million stars reminding you of your size.) seeing my friends from as far back as middle school in their beautiful, changing lives made me feel unafraid of whatever is coming. I kept talking too loudly because I was so happy.

we came home to a blizzard and some new construction blocking our admittedly outrageous unobstructed view of the empire state building. (we live in bedstuy, it was never going to last.)  this morning I made coffee*, unpacked all of our borrowed camping gear and in so doing, covered our floor in sand from 2,000 miles away. I felt different/I felt the same/I wondered about the duration of a bout with poison oak.


change is inevitable and it is important, and I am not stuck, (I am not stuck! we are not stuck!) and the ocean is still there. it all makes me feel like sometimes, you've just got to get in the car and drive.

* cardamom coffee

beautify your bedstuy morning
spice up your camping coffee

prepare to brew your coffee however you prefer. (that means french press or drip, probably.)

add 1 cracked cardamom** pod per cup that you're preparing. (you can crack the pods with the flat side of a knife, then throw the whole thing in with the grounds.)

you could also add one pinch of salt per cup, or however much cinnamon you want! wowee.

brew the coffee as usual. the cardamom will make the coffee taste slightly nutty and spicy.

\\ This isn't really a recipe so much as it is a suggestion to do something a little differently. The same effect could be easily achieved by doing a long and luxurious stretch. Welcome, March!

**Cardomom is absurdly expensive in many stores, but you can buy it in bulk for a reasonable price at international groceries. Also enticing for things like this, but I have really got to stop baking cakes and eating them in their entirety.